Friday, January 21, 2011

Bisausaketges

Yesterday, I made more bread. Was it ugly, Michelle? Was it ugly? WAS IT? UGLY? MICHELLE? Was the bread you made ugly?

NO! It wasn't ugly, it was darling! I made delicious sausages cooked inside of delicious home made cheese biscuits. Piggies in a Blanket [1] Even the name is all cozy. Sausage rolls. Flesh 'n Bunz. Sausage Snuggies Bisausaketges (win!). Have a look:



OMG ADORABLE!

I want to prance around with them in a baby pram. Okay, so they're a smidgen ugly- but in that homely baby way. You know, like when someone's baby looks half alien & half hairless mole-rat and somehow retains its cuteness. I always find this incredibly miraculous. All of my children were tooth chatteringly attractive, so I have a difficult time dealing with this. It just goes to show that babycharm and super cute pajamas are important, or maybe I'm just really good at feeling sorry for ugly babies and homely meaty treats [2]... anyhow, I could put a bonnet on the sausages when we go for walks. That might help.

New mother: This is my new baby, "Atticus Breayndyrnegh"!

Me: *eyeballs enlarge* uh huh...

NM: Yeah, we made up the name. He looks just like my mother, don't you think?

Me: *inaudible mumbling avoidy sound*

*Atticus somehow makes his facial expression look like how sad your heart feels when you watch teenaged Eric Stolz play that kid with the giant disfigured face and Cher was his Mom. *



*I just can't judge that poor baby. My heart is too broken for Eric Stolz.*

Me: AwWwwWWWW! Poor Atticus-Watticus! I wuvs him. Wuvywuv. Poor homely, adorable Atticus. Him looks like a little sausage biscuit. Yes him does. I'm gonna eat him! I'm gonna eat up Atticus! Nomnomnom! Atticus McCheesyBiscuits!

NM: Give me my baby back please.

Me: Just a second...

*ahem*


So anyway. I made them as part of our dinner. HIT! Also, they are great for when you want to make lazy types of things but it looks like you tried pretty hard. That's why I'm including the recipe at the end of this post. Plus you can take pictures of them and then draw cartoons about them later:



You could do that if you wanted.
*Note: This is certainly not a cartoon about Phil Spector murdering anyone. It's about... the plight of sausage biscuits.
I have plenty of tact left.


It's only a coincidence that this bisausaketge looks exactly like Phil Spector. I'm sure that he was a perfectly cute baby once.


Recipe for Biscuits:

2 cups flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup shortening or lard
1 cup milk
*optional 1/2 cup shredded cheddar (add with dry ingredients)

Mix dry ingredients, cut in shortening until the pieces are really tiny. Add milk and stir just until moist. Will be sticky. Pat out the dough on a floured surface about 3/4 to one inch thick, cut out biscuits. Be careful not to overwork the dough.

Bake @ 400 degrees for 12 minutes until nice and brown.

To make Bisausaketges like these ones, cook your sausages and wrap them in the dough, then bake for 15 mins. Try and make it seem difficult when you present them.

[1] I had no idea pigs in a blanket had such a rich and diverse cultural history.
[2]Yeah, I said meaty treats

28 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Jesus Christ, you make tears come out I laugh so hard.

Chelle said...

Bread stresses me out.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

After that hideous Phil Spector sausage biscuit you're all "Ehem. Well then. Recipe for biscuits..."

Pioneer Woman should kiss your feet.

Chelle said...

I was going to call them Cheesy Spector Babies. I decided it would be too much.

Miss Nikki said...

Wow, even the recipe is there, look at you all Martha Stewart post jail'ish! I kinda want to make some now then add them to my none existing family scrap-book...

Chelle said...

I have my own family scrapbook of recipes I printed off the internet too.

Chelle said...

For the record, THIS biscuit recipe was my Great Gran's.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Ok I am going to have effing Phil Spector nightmares tonight. I have literally woken up in the middle of the night picturing that hair planet weilding a gun chasing me thru a very large house. Not all of Phil Spector, just the hair...

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Oh, and cat lady is beyond creepy. Pigs in blankets making me hungry. Going to snack now!

SherilinR said...

i love your hilarious faces. the one w/ the XX eyes & the tongue out is the best.
i used that picture of phil once when i wrote a post wondering what would happen if my whole head of hair turned to pubic hair & then i grew it out long & pretty.

Nicole said...

Fuck. I can't go to bed meaty treat hungry and thinking of eating Phil Spector.

Laoch of Chicago said...

The still living edible sausages are going to give me nightmares.

Chelle said...

@Brahm You know, it all started out as me thinking I'd post my biscuit recipe, then something went wrong.

Sherilin- link me up!

Nicole- G'night!

Laoch- Apparently, I give everyone nightmares.

ThePeachy1 said...

somtimes, I sit around wishing I had really nice expensive furniture that wasn't aged and worn and torn, and then when I read things like THIS, and pee all over them. I really appreciate the wipeability factor of this leather. you my friend, do indeed need a cookbook deal, ( and meds) because I have NEVER read a recipe post, ( totally against my religion). so that WAS SWAWESOMTASTIC.

nova said...

I can't even read the words in this post because of all the hilarious pictures. Seriously.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My mom made (and I still make them sometimes) sausage biscuits with ground sausage, browned and crescent rolls. Spoon a little bit onto the middle of the rolls, roll up and bake as directed. They're like little bready sausage goodness.

Chelle said...

@peachy- You should get nice, expensive formica furniture

nova- Good, because it's not that great of a post anyway.

ETW- Yummo. I would put cheese in them because I have to.

Pearl said...

OMG that was funny, adorable, and just a tad disturbing, all the things that make me happy.

Too funny, Chelle.

Pearl

Chelle said...

:)

mandersblue said...

i'm pretty sure that's Hanky the christmas poo in biscuits and a stroller. you're disgusting.

dbs said...

So basically what you're saying is that if Phil Spector & that plastic surgery lady had babies, this is what they'd look like.

Chelle said...

dave- yes. Also that sausages wrapped in cheese biscuits are delicious.

Chelle said...

manders- Ha! It totally looks like Hanky the Christmas Poo.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

They all look so happy until you put that wig on it.

I'm sorry but your going gaga over your new baby is making me very hungry. I am pretty sure it is unrelated...

Logical Libby said...

How could you eat something that cute? Did you have a side of baby seal too? Their poor little faces!

Wait, did you draw those on after the fact?

SherilinR said...

here's the link to my pubic hair post.
http://laughingmyabsoff.blogspot.com/2010/10/uh-oh-new-hair-style.html

Chelle said...

@AA- Babies make everyone hungry.

@Libby- I can't remember

Sherilin- Haha, this comment shows up on my sidebar with the word "post" and everything after it missing. Funny hey.

Organic Meatbag said...

Phil Spector is up to playing the role of Yahoo Serious in a biography epic... "Yahoo Serious, thank God We Hardly Knew You"...

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