Monday, February 7, 2011

Rhoda: The Beginnings....

I have TWO, That is TWO entries for the giveaway so far (really, you guys? Only two of you are serious about Rhoda? Everyone likes floozies and everyone likes zombies.. what gives? This prize is as good as solid gold! It will likely appreciate in value like crazay). You have 5 days (Saturday) to try and usurp the sock zombie doll from Vapid or DBS. I will at some point on Sunday have Neily McSweetums pull a name from a paper bag and announce it here on Monday, VALENTINES DAY! See? You could get a Valentine in the form of a sock zombie floozy from me. Imagine how wonderful!

I challenge you to top DBS's entry. It's inspiring AND hideous. Not that Vapid's alligator/baguette photoshop isn't really moving but DBS baked... and this is hilarious to me because he taught me Art & English at my ridiculous, small town High School. So basically he is responsible for me being able to write anything. Baaahaaaaa. That's his legacy now here on the internet. He should probably look into writing a book or something.

Another bit of info related to High School- The Town Mayor taught us social studies when he wasn't skipping class to go jogging and introduced us to the indefatigable Mr Ralph Klein. Oh the hi-jinks! My dearly departed Grandpa slammed his hand in the door at a gas station once by accident. I should really put this stuff in a different blog entry. Res-pek, Mr M! It does tie-in, though because his wife taught home-economics and is responsible for teaching me to sew. In the end I passed Social Studies with flying colors and nearly failed sewing. Go figure.


Simplified Entry Rules

And finally, the making of Rhoda:

Like most things, Rhoda began with a mouth.

At this point, Rhoda was androgynous. I found the perfect sock (new sock) and turned it inside out. I pinned the mouth onto the sock to find the ideal location for it. Rhoda was almost a pink sock zombie with hearts all over her, but it just wasn't corpse-y enough.

Upon stuffing Rhoda, it became obvious that Rhoda was a woman zombie. A rubinesque floozy woman zombie. When the zombie plague hits, nobody is safe. Not even rubinesque floozies. Especially rubinesque floozies.

This is nearly the first time I've ever sewn boobies onto a sock. What's a floozy without her boobies? Washed up. That's what.

I found some perfect whiteout eyeball buttons in a bag of buttons that I got at Value Village once. I knew buying buttons in a warehouse style thrift shop would pay off one day. Her mouth was sewn on and I began the painstaking task of threading each hair and sewing in a lovely head-gash. Rhoda was infected via bite to the head. I embroidered on some nice greenish rotting flesh all around it.

I decided to just use one tooth.

*Note: I made the tooth myself. It's sculpey! Formed by my hands and baked in my oven.

I also made her severed arm myself and sewed it in. I burned it (um.. by accident... but it was a happy accident because zombies totally burn their protruding arm bones sometimes). I also made her a nice trampy dress out of another polka-dotted neon sock.

She got a fashionable hairstyle..

She got a new broken heeled shoe (I made it) and went a little overboard at poker night.

Oh Rhoda... you've overdone it.


So don't forget to enter by Saturday!


Boom Boom Larew said...

Damn... that Rhoda's such a slut! Just look at her! Best zombie sock puppet, ever!

A Vapid Blonde said...

So I have competition now huh?

*stops feet and downs more Nyquil*

I hate competition.

A Vapid Blonde said...

*Stomps Feet*


SherilinR said...

DBS put on a pretty good show in an effort to win that floozy. even dealing with bread pupa. i'm not into zombies so much, but can i put my vote in for him to win it?

Chelle said...

BoomBoom- Good namechange. Thanks! I like her alright.

Vapid- Yep. Sorry, you're only almost a shoe-in now.

Sherilin- Not into zombies??? Whaaaa? Doesn't compute.

Alli said...

Oooooo I want that sock zombie!!! I just need time to mangle my entry!

dbs said...

Enjoyed your moment!
P.S. SherilinR is cool and I like her.

Antares Cryptos said...

Hi Chelle.

I eat bread. Sometimes it has wheatgrass or sprouts in it, which keeps me uninfected.(This anti-viral advice is not free. It costs an entry).

I owe dbs a lot of money. A LOT. Like the price of a sock zombie.

I already have socks and sometimes my cat kills them for me, so if I win send it to him as paybackment.

Rules? What rules?

The Absence of Alternatives said...

LOL at the mention of Wow. Didn't realize that your teacher is now your blogging buddy. The Internet does wonders to our social network. And I sounded like Mark Zuckerberg I know...

If God had a digital camera (I am sure he did. But he was just too cool to use it) when he was making Adam and Eve, those pictures would have looked very much like these.

Cookie Monster in Therapy said...

Does Gingerbread count? 'Cause I have pictures of last year's Mr Hanky gingerbread that me and the kids made for Santa?

Cookie Monster in Therapy said...

So I blogged with my gingerbread. But sadly I live in Australia so not eligible anyway, so so sad... (If I knew how to make a frowny face picture out of symbols, I may have actually been tempted to throw one in here).

Not really, as I tend to gag whenever I see one of those.

Gave me an excuse to showcase the Hanky though.

Lenni said...

I would enter but I'm in Australia and thusly banished from submitting any photos...

So tempting!

Chelle said...

Alli- I look forward to eet.

DBS- I am now paranoid that said jogging social studies mayor teacher will somehow find my blog.

Antares- Hehe. If you enter and win, you can do what you like with Rhoda- including dive it to DBS.

Absence- I know, eh? Small towns.

Cookie- Ginderbread counts, pancakes count, cake counts, biscuits count, tortillas count. I'm not very stric on this.

Lenni- SPeaking of not strict, you're in.

Elly Lou said...

"This is nearly the first time I've ever sewn boobies onto a sock."

I snarfed. It woke up my cat. She clawed my tit. I hope you're happy.

Nicole said...

I'm entering. I just need to wait until the last minute so I can be spurred into action by the procrastination monster.

Also, The Birds? Love it. Blog looks loverly.

Also, my wv is "bustem."

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

New to your blog.. loving it though!!

Chelle said...

Elly- At least you didn't snart! Can you imagine??

Nicole- You'd better.

Midwestern- Thanks for reading!!

dbs said...

Ken? Blogging? That would never happen and to be honest, he'd have a real laugh about what you wrote.
@Antares Cryptos *clap*
@Cooking Monster in Therapy. Drat. More competition. *dialing hitman*
P.S. Like the new blog style.

Chelle said...

Dave- You just never know who's lurking... I hope he would laugh!

Dr. Cynicism said...

Well holy crap. You've gone and made me fall in love with your blog. LOVE IT!

*mary* said...

I am working on an entry! I want this so bad... you have no idea!

nova said...

Hey! New header! I like it.

nova said...

You must check your email. I sended you something.

Alli said...

So, I think I officially entered via email. Just in case, this comment is to let you know I entered. I don't know what's more amazing, my ugly bread or the fact that I actually linked to your blog in my post on my very first try.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

You know, I came on the internet this morning to post on my woefully neglected blog. But then I remembered that yesterday was Friday and Friday is Uke day, so I dropped in to visit Buggin' Word, who totally nailed that Bread song, and now here I am, a half hour later, perusing new blogs and zombie floozy sock puppets and also wondering if maybe I should go visit this infamous DBS and yes, I think I should. And while doing all this, I am also picturing VB stamping her foot and I'm wondering if she is doing that while standing on her head because yes, I visited her blog, too, and I know she's doing a lot of that lately, except not so much last week. So maybe I'll blog next year or whatever. I love your zombie sock puppet. I'll be watching this competition closely. But while sitting on my butt, NOT my head. I just pulled it out of there for god's sake.

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