Me: I need to return these books because I already HAVE them, so I don't need them. I mean they're great books and everything, Lord knows I've read them to simply pieces, but I just don't need extra copies, you know? Like I don't know what I was thinking when I double ordered. They must have been in my online cart and I didn't notice or something. I should totally be more careful, eh?
Chapters Cashier: These were ordered from Amazon.com. I'm afraid that you can't return them to Chapters.
Me: Uh. Right. Chapters. *expletives*. Heh... this store isn't Amazon.com.
Chapters Cashier: *stares blankly*
Me: *strokes beard contemplatively* So I'm going to have to... mail them back to Amazon.com? Like.. I have to go to the post office??
CC: That would be correct.
Me: Riiiight... riiight for sure, for sure... but couldn't you just... take them and give me my money back?
CC: This is the wrong store, I'm afraid not.
Me: Yes of course it is. I know that. But couldn't you just, you know.... take the books and give me a return anyway?
CC: No. We can't. It's policy. And ridiculous.
Me: Oh I see. It's policy. But aren't policies more like just general behavioral guidelines? I mean you could just take these books and give me a return.... I'm sure you just explain it all to your boss. Hilarious right? Returning Books to the wrong store? So how about that return now? Easy Peasy. Amiright?
CC. No, you are not right.
Me: Eh? *eyebrow waggle*
CC: .
Me: *chest shimmy plus eyebrow waggle* Eh? A Return for me from you?
CC: ~Security to the cashier please~
Me: *does the Charleston with jazzhands down the cashier line and out the door with toddler who is also doing the Charleston with jazzhands for effect, although obviously not as well because she does not have the same amount of experience as I do at this.*
So i guess I'm going to the post office. Ugh.
But then today, my kid's teacher told me that not only is he doing really well but that I, Readers, that I look like I'm 22. Maybe she was a little sweet on me, who knows? All I know is that I had to come straight home and take pictures of myself for fifteen minutes. That school rocks. I totally look 10 years younger than I am. Shut up I do too. Just check these puppies out:
Right? Amazing.
Now go here and read my review of Twilight. Yeah. That's right. TWILIGHT.
17 comments:
They should have been happy that you were helping to expand their inventory. The nerve of some people! I once worked for a paint company and one day a guy tried to return a can with nothing but water and rocks inside. I opened the can in front of him and he swore those rocks were there when he bought it. Our manager gave the dude his money back!
I am frightened that you have read Twilight.
It's all that Charlestoning, it must keep you young.
Stephen- That could be a heck of a racket.
Laoch- Of course not.
Carrie: Made in CARE-OH-LIE-NA
It's the headphones. They really bring out your eyes.
The nerve of that cashier... ;)
I was out with my 12 year old and someone thought we were sisters. I was ridiculously happy about it until I thought maybe it meant my 12 year old looks a lot older than her years. She did grow some boobs this past year, dammit.
Are you wearing awesome black trouser socks?
If I understand the story correctly, you purchased them somewhere else, different company? If the store you were trying to return them to really wants to get them in their inventory then they get to buy them at a wholesale price (50%). Giving you a refund at full price is the equivalent of paying twice as much for their inventory.
Ah jazzhands; they should have the power to end wars.
P.S. Did you know there's an isopod movie in development? Whoa. Google "The Bay."
Hahaha wow. I'm going to take all my used books and "return" them to chapters now too. Great idea!
LOL!
Oh fellow canadian, I am always so pleased to see your topical
references.
You: Chapters!
Me: YAY! I KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
And yes, I know that makes me like every other person at a bad community theater show...
Show: Bad topical joke!
Audience: We've been there! *APPLAUSE FOREVER!*
Not that your topical joke it bad!...
In an attempt to dig myself out of this hole I shall simply state: Your jazz hands made me smile :)
End transmission
Just found your blog tonight and have been reading it for HOURS. yeah, i have THAT kind of job! PLEASE KEEP BLOGGING! you are too freakin funny!
I would have read that cashier the chapter where I kick them in the crotch, leave the books, take the money they owe me, and leave.
+followed
TOTALLY 22. No doubt.
I can't believe you sat through twilight!
Sure It's Relevant?
I agree with what dbs said about jazz hands ending wars.
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