We sold the house.We celebrated by rescuing a dog: Oliver. Of COURSE we did! Moving isn't nearly stressful enough!! I still have a strand or two of hair left, after all.
It just happened. It just... happened.
I mean, we wanted a dog, we said.
Pros: Kids will have to spend more time outside and less trying to get into the televisions; empathy; they want one; we have a really big yard now; I've managed to put it off for about 8 years.
Cons: We are in the process of actually moving; it's a dog. Wait, we're at the Humane Society?
Oliver is a duck tolling retriever and he was rescued from a high kill shelter. Pretty much we're going directly to heaven, and the swearword I said about my chairs? Cancelled out. You know it.
He follows me like I'm some kind of genius mentor. Dogs never follow ME. They usually know that I think they smell and they are dumb and only the mentally deranged would purchase a dog. Dogs need baths, and walking, and licenses, and dog sitters and attention and training- these are things I'm generally morally opposed to giving extra creatures outside of my gaggle of offspring. (Except that I don't need a license for the kids... seems..... probably fine. )
But Oliver is here and is gentle and quiet and housebroken and friendly and atrocious on a leash. Atrocious, Readers: so incredibly bad... Basically like putting a cat on a leash and expecting it to go in a straight line.
And the kids love him and Neil loves him and I am having a minor meltdown because he's decided to be MY dog. Me. The one who is having an anxiety siezure every time I look at him. I did not have this much anxiety when they handed me a baby at age 18 and said, "You got a carseat to take him home with?"
So what is the deal with me here? Is it so terrible that I can't just run off for a carefee weekend of reckless abandon now? Because like.... I don't think I've ever run off for a weekend of carefree abandon in my life. Getting a dog just kind of seals the deal, I guess. It's official.
At least I could sell it by agreeing that I will rarely, if ever, have to pick up his poop. Kid job! *high five self*
I picked up his poop twice today. *sad trombone*
 |
But he's underweight. My heart broke into 40 zillion pieces. UNDERWEIGHT? *bites fist*
I'm not ready for my life to change again, but obviously, it's too late. Oliver has arrived. I guess we might as well jump in with two feet if we're going to change our lives, right?
Good thing about the vodka I have in my cupboard. I'll pack that last. Because we are, after all, moving in the middle of winter. Why the hell WOULDN'T we rescue a dog?
And the kicker? Oliver speaks French and sneaks onto the sofa and then looks at me like he has no idea how he got there. Oh he's sly.
 |
| Cute little French Bastard. |
28 comments:
Sacré bleu il est mignon! <--fancy speak for "He's really cute!"
You're a good person...Ollie is a lucky dog! He follows you because he likes you the best or he senses he must win you over the most! :)
Janet! You have to come over and see him and tell me it was the only option. It really was. I swear.
I'm sure he'll have a great home with your pack. :)
Absolutely! I'll come over and tell you how important it was that you save his life! :) Call him "chou" and he'll probably respond really well...especially if you say it in a high-pitched voice!
...pronounced "shoe" of course!
Oh. I know. Mon petit chouchou.... mon tete du cabbage.... mon chiot du sucre...... mon chou lapin bebe, mon canard d'au belle petit monsieur.... etc etc.
I know. I'm just not going there yet.
Um... I'm not a french expert. D'au? What is that? I think I meant d'eau; not that it's much better.
I told my kids they could never have a pet until they found one that met my one and only pet criteria: it cannot poop.
As you've seen, we have the rabbit and that thing craps more than flies fly. And it's so damn cute too.
Pets are the devil.
That said, you probably won't regret this as much as you think you'll regret it.
He's adorable. And you really shouldn't worry. He'll have you trained in no time.
Holy crap I want a dog SO BAD, but I can barely take care of my plants.
That animal is SO AMAZINGLY CUTE. And apparently thinks you are the top dog. Now you have your own minion if you learn to speak French. Sweet.
naawww.. he is so cute!
He follows you because he loves you..
we can pretty much only have a goldfish here in our apartment.. and it would be way more horrendous on a leash than your dog.. yeah.
You are so blessed. I have had a dog for six years and and 12 days that loves me to pieces and vice versa. I talk to him all the time, explain things we are going to do, things I am going to do, and his patience is improving (slightly). Its like home schooling all over again (hah!). My children are audibly jealous, but they are in their mid twenties, and far away and iGnore me anyway. Well, at least one of the children is jealous. I think the one who is his former owner understands, Maybe. Life is good, better with my buddy Cooper.
Oh, I went back and looked at his picture, he has a beautiful smile, nothing quite like a happy doggie!
What a cute dog! Good luck with the leash training. Not to offer unsolicited dog advice (just kidding, that's exactly what I'm going to do), but I highly recommend the Gentle Leader. It's a head collar that's...it's hard to describe. (I started typing a description and realized how confusing it sounded.) I used to have a mastiff and it was the only way to walk him without getting dragged all over the place. I've seen people use them on smaller dogs too. Dogs hates them, but they're great for training if nothing else.
Thanks, people. I'm new at this dog business.
Courtnay- I'm totally taking any and all advice. I do. not. know. what. I'm. Doing.
One word for crazy leash walkers: Halti.
Get one, it will change your life and will make walking much more relaxed.
Also, it will make you look like you have super dog whispering skills.
We have a Toller, and love her. She's great with our two year old, she's not super lick-y, and she's lots of fun. Couple of things we've found: 1. LOTS of energy (they're sorta like a border collie) - the dog park is your friend (if there's one nearby) 2. ours has done REALLY well on a BARF (bones and raw food) diet, 3. take classes - we have done basic obedience, flyball, agility, etc. because they're very sporty and like it 4. We haven't had a lot of trouble, but I'll second Tumbleweed with the Halti (it's just a leash that goes around the chest to slow them down). 5. Brush lots - very furry dogs. 6. Extremely smart - Callie (our Toller) will do things like push chairs up to tables and counters to get food. Real problem solver = real problem. I think that's all...
Our basset hound follows me around too. Due to a supersonic olfactory bulb, I find animals to be smelly. I tell Lorek (the basset) this as he follows me around EVERYWHERE like I'm Jesus. Looking at me with insane adoration. It's hard to not like him. So I get it. I get you. Carry on.
Very fine canine!!!
(important tip - hide your shoes)
I can't even believe his cute face. I guess you should watch the dog whisperer and become one of those people who goes "SSST" and pinches their dogs. Because that's how you train dogs these days apparently? I wouldn't know. Mine came pre-trained.
But he sometimes just ever so casually has one paw on the couch...then two and he's standing on his hind legs and looking at me out of the corners of his eyes. I always let him get to this point and then when I see him bracing for the jump I turn around real fast and go "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and he gets all ashamed. hahahaha oh, dogs.
I love it when my poochie follows me around. She does it every time I leave the room. Maybe it's a shelter dog thing? Or maybe not. I don't fucking know, I'm not The Dog Whisperer.
He's lovely, well done for saving him :)
I think he prefers you refer tout as merde.
Congrats on selling the house! And OMG, he's cute....
Of COURSE you got a dog! At some point, all of the cool people end up with dogs...I'm pretty sure it's a law or something.
You are basically a god. Also, my dog does that same thing about the couch. Jumps right up there and then pretends it was a manic episode.
Good looking animal! I'm sure your going to grow to love him to the point, you can't be separated. Congratulations on getting one of the only true friends you will ever have. One that will never judge you, and always be excited when you come home!
I have refrained from using this phrase because it just didn't seem right . . . until now.
ADORABALLZZZZZZZZZ!
I can see why you had to rescue the shit out of Oliver (I said that with a French-Canadian accent, I think. I want Oliver to understand me.)..
He's underweight and the grand champion shitiest leash walker?
Feed him the leash! Get a fence at new house! Problem solved.
Enjoy your shit scooping!
Post a Comment