I know! You're like, "WHAT!? WHERE THE EFF DID YOU SCORE THAT NOISE?" and I'm all, "I bought a coupon from one of the eighty gazillion spam extreme coupon websites that email me eleventy hundred times per day offering mainly facial laser resurfacing on the cheap, but this time it was movie tickets and a FREE ENTREE." Neil and I were quite pleased with the whole arrangement. Also, I think I just used the slang term "noise" incorrectly.
Anyhow, where was I? Oh yesh. Coupons and movies and excitement. So anyway, I was pretty eager to use my coupon (of which I purchased three) so off we went. We had our delicious half-free dinner (I chose fajitas. Freejitas). ..
INTERMISSION: I just had to pause in the middle of writing this to dig a lemon jellybean out of the dog's mouth. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that it was just a jellybean and nothing lethal like the elastic band I was oringinally envisioning. *Not disappointed because Sunny will survive, but disappointed because if I hadn't been so concerned for her life, it would have been hilarious to sit back and watch her try and chew it even though it kept sticking to her teeth and she looked so pathetic and so happy all at the same time. Also, I may have given it back to her and watched her finish it and I may not have. Who's to know? Back to my important date night story.
So in my excitement, I quickly dispatched myself from the theatre to use the ladies; super fast before the movie began and stuff, right? Don't wanna miss any slaughtery and distopiaAAAaaa! So I zipped into the ladies room with purpose, only to discover a man peeing in a sink. In the ladies. I froze.
And then it got dark and fuzzy in my brain. Confusing. I saw many many many many spots. My life flashed before my eyes. Everything was topsy turvy and wrong. My surroundings shrunk and the room began to spin. All of these things did happen in the span of the 3 second decade that it took for me to fully accept the verisimilitude that I was not in the ladies room and that the man whom I was staring at was rightfully peeing away in a urinal.
So what did I do? Sneak out stealthily? Undetected? Sheepishly? Silently into the cloak of theatre-y darkness? Of course not. I am incapable of behaving like that when I'm in a stupor of embarassment. I announced myself in a sports announcer type of voice. Of course.
PS. A little birdie named DBS'S daughter informed me on the facebook that DBS may or may not have had a verrrrry eeerily similar experience today in the mall while wearing certain protective headgear. Care to elaborate, DBS? EH? Do you? *squinty face*