Sunday, April 22, 2012

Romancing the Pup.

So my cat is a moron.  A MORON.  "Oh that isn't nice to say about a poor little animal, Michelle!"

I know.  But she is.  A MORON to be precise. 

Smarties, the moron cat, has gone into heat and has found herself incredibly attracted to... "Another male cat in the neighborhood?", you ask,  "But it's ill fated because he is neutered?

No.

"Another Ken doll?"

No.

"Your pillows again?"

Nope.

"How about a stuffed turtle?  Is she writhing about in the hallway in ecstasy with a stuffed turtle, Michelle?  Well is she? Eh???"

No, Readers. But thanks for asking.

Smarties has found a new object of affection to throw her sack of disgusting, trampy, desperate cat bones around at.   To... saunter casually past and then ready herself into "the position" in case her heart's desire should requite her affections and become wild with passion for her.

It's futile for poor, confused Smarties, though.  She is a star crossed lover.  Poor, lonely Smarties.

She's hitting on the dog;  the 4 month old, female, golden retriever puppy.  I SWEAR IT.  Moron.   

I made this movie over the course of the past two days to prove it.  Sit back, relax and enjoy this awesome romantic comedy:



That's right.  My cat is a pedophile.

Don't be jealous of my life.


17 comments:

Kjbikakis said...

Horny cat!! LOL

Stephen Hayes said...

It's bad enough to hear about these (tails) of illicit love. But did you have to video it?

dbs said...

Where can I get this soundtrack?

HeatherL said...

So disturbing on so many levels!

Victoria said...

I KNEW there'd be music, and I'm at work with no sound....

PS - You have a dog and your house is THAT tidy!?!?!?!?!
Shame on me....

Trucking Tumbleweed said...

Oh the frustration! Get that cat a paid escort, STAT!

The Wandering Oak said...

I thought for sure Sunny was going to pull everything off your coffee table.

Jay said...

That story made me laugh out loud. And I live in Seattle and love zombie movies, so your blog kind of compels me to follow it. Can we be friends maybe? (To clarify, I'm not saying follow for follow. Not that you can't if you don't want to, but I'm not one of THOSE people.) Also, I leave really long comments. You're welcome!

Dr. Cynicism said...

Hmmm... is it technically bestiality, pedophilia, or jungle fever? Either way it's rich!

dufmanno said...

Cross species wrongness always finds a way. Hey, didn't anyone ever see the much maligned 80s horror flick FUNHOUSE where the "beast" totally has the hots for the human girl on the tilt a whirl? No?

mercurymat said...

your cat should hook up with my best friend's dog. he's been trying to hump her cat for weeks now. lmao.

Vapid Vixen said...

Oh this is perfection. I've been trying to convince boyfriend we need a puppy. He claims the cat won't like it. Video proof of the contrary! I'm buying a chew toy today!!

CJ - Food Stories said...

I have enjoyed your site so I've nominated you for the Illuminating Blogger Award for illuminating, informative blog content. You can check out the details at my site ... http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/ ... Hope you're having a great day!

Jay Ferris said...

Am I to take the opening line of this post to mean that all cats are not in fact morons?

Izzy Mason said...

Poor puppy!

Alittlesprite said...

wow....that's just all kinds of disturbing.

Anonymous said...

My wienie dog would hump my horny in heat cat.

We all just pretended we didn't see it.

But we did.

Never got any pittens out of it either. *sad face*

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...