Saturday, July 14, 2012

Star Trek was Right. Androids are Jerks.

Now some of you might know that my significant other is a fellow named Neily.  I just wanted to clear that fact up and drive it right home before I begin to tell you something that is happening to me.  I want you to remember about my Neily.  Here are some pictures of him:




Soul.  Mate.  
 He's freakin' adorable, has great nails & teeth and I talk about him constantly.  Ok?  CONSTANTLY. 

Now, I got a new phone.  I replaced my ancient, blackberry with a sleekerish more sophisticatedish Androidy smartysmartphone.  It's great.  I'm even a new android convert, fresh from the Apple Farm.   Well...  Almost. 

Except one thing.   It keeps trying to come up with a certain word to replace, "NEILY".  It doesn't think I mean to write "Neily".  So it put some thought into which word it might be that I was reaaaaalllly thinking of using instead of "Neily".  All by itself, and in true robot form, it isn't very tactful.  

So,  I just want to point out right now that I call Neil, "MY Neily".  Because he's my adorable Neily.  Okay?  You'll know in a minute why I decided not to write this post in on the new Android. 

Readers, I like to write things on facebook such as:
"Going to see Wicked with my Neily!"  or  
"My Neily got me some flowers" or  
"Having a scotch with my Neily!! *grabs throat*" 

My phone was maybe born in a different time or wasn't raised right or isn't exactly the smartest smart phone ever because the word, out of allllllllllllll the words in the English language that begin with N, has decided that it would be appropriate to replace my typed out version of "NEILY" with......  Are you ready?  With "negro", reader.  With the word, "negro".  Every.  Time.

Yes.  Read those previous sentences with the word my autocorrect keeps trying to sneak in.  *grabs throat*

I will die.  I will die a thousand humiliating deaths if at any point in my life it accidentally goes though.  Please, Baby Jesus.  No.    

How about NECK?  How about NEEDLE  or NERD?  Nylons?  Neighborhood Watch?    Neurologist?  Nitrous Oxide? Narcotics?  Newspaper?  Night Sweats...?

Really, Android?  Really? 

Or hey..  how about Neily? Eh?  Eh, Android?   How about NEILY? 

I probably shouldn't have told you this, Internet. 

14 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Crying. CRYING right now.

Janet Liston said...

Your life is a sit-com. You need to remove the word negro from your Android's dictionary.

Chelle said...

Steamy- Crying for... humanity?

Janet- I can do that? *phew*

Janet Liston said...

http://lifehacker.com/5558320/get-quick-access-to-your-android-keyboards-dictionary

Stephen Hayes said...

I really don't care that Neily is a negro. Can't we all get along?

Chelle said...

Janet. YES.

Stephen- *sad trombones*

See Kate run. said...

No! Don't take it out of your dictionary! I know this makes me a bad person, but there is so little fun left in this election year.

Leauxra said...

And so, the robot uprising begins. Phase 1: Create anarchy among human society.

I didn't say the robots would be good at this...

C.B. said...

I personaly have an Iphone that had autocorrect when I first started using it. The thing is I mostly write text in French to my family and friends but I keep my phone in English and so yes......it messed up with it's judgment. I had no choice but to turn it off.

MJenks said...

Well...look at it this way: at least it wants to correct it to "negro" instead of the other, far worse word.

Izzy Mason said...

Oooooh golly that's unfortunate. That Android needs some remedial counseling stat.

thoughtsappear.com said...

And that is why my autocorrect is turned off. Actually my phone is so old I'm not sure I have autocorrect.

baronscameron said...

Heh...

liftedplane said...

I hope you figured out how to add neily to your dictionary... I found this post on accident and must say it made my day.

look at the words on a keyboard and you'll understand why it picked them. they are both six letters and on a small touchscreen the appropriate letters could easily be mis-touched

either way hope you fixed it, I found this post while looking for one on how to eat a cupcake... wtf. :D good stuff

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