Now, I got a new phone. I replaced my ancient, blackberry with a sleekerish more sophisticatedish Androidy smartysmartphone. It's great. I'm even a new android convert, fresh from the Apple Farm. Well... Almost.
Except one thing. It keeps trying to come up with a certain word to replace, "NEILY". It doesn't think I mean to write "Neily". So it put some thought into which word it might be that I was reaaaaalllly thinking of using instead of "Neily". All by itself, and in true robot form, it isn't very tactful.
So, I just want to point out right now that I call Neil, "MY Neily". Because he's my adorable Neily. Okay? You'll know in a minute why I decided not to write this post in on the new Android.
Readers, I like to write things on facebook such as:
"Going to see Wicked with my Neily!" or
"My Neily got me some flowers" or
"Having a scotch with my Neily!! *grabs throat*"
My phone was maybe born in a different time or wasn't raised right or isn't exactly the smartest smart phone ever because the word, out of allllllllllllll the words in the English language that begin with N, has decided that it would be appropriate to replace my typed out version of "NEILY" with...... Are you ready? With "negro", reader. With the word, "negro". Every. Time.
Yes. Read those previous sentences with the word my autocorrect keeps trying to sneak in. *grabs throat*
I will die. I will die a thousand humiliating deaths if at any point in my life it accidentally goes though. Please, Baby Jesus. No.
How about NECK? How about NEEDLE or NERD? Nylons? Neighborhood Watch? Neurologist? Nitrous Oxide? Narcotics? Newspaper? Night Sweats...?
Really, Android? Really?
Or hey.. how about Neily? Eh? Eh, Android? How about NEILY?
I probably shouldn't have told you this, Internet.