Anyhow, last night I went on a date with NeeEilLy. We'd decided to get sushi and head over to see the film Looper, except something happened to us.
We didn't go to the movie.
What happened, Michelle? Were you struck by passion? Did you decide instead to make passionate love on a moonlit, deserted stone bridge to the dulcet tones of a live mariachi band playing in the distance, roses clenched firmly in your teeth? Wolves howling in the background and a soft, fall wind rustling your hair as the creek below burbled so gently? On the soft, mossy section? Without a care in the world except for staring deeply into each others eyes? And then did you share poems you'd composed for one another about limpid pooling eyes and such? Whispering softly to one another like a breeze over water?
Um. Calm down, Reader. Stop pressuring me!
So we had our sushi. We had to eat in a hurry, because the movie was going to start. We ordered yam rolls, spicy salmon rolls, octupus & shrimp sushis. We proceeded to eat the sushi while gently making fun of one another for being sushi neanderthals. Seriously. Sushi in a hurry= hilarity. We shotgunned our sapporos and ran to the register to pay.
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| Cave Squid Sushi & Neil's arm. |
We made it in time to see the movie.
However, we began to feel a light inward pull. The pull became stronger until it took hold of us. We were thrust out of the theatre.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING??? My nerd senses are going BERZERKO!" I thought.
And we found ourselves in Chapters: The gigantical bookstore.
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| TRAH LALALALALALALAlaaaaaAAAA! |
It just... It just happened.
So we perused around separately, only reuniting to discuss how many books were described as, "A rollicking good read". "A ROLLICKING GOOD READ" is the standard issue blurb for most books these days. I began to suspect that some of the books were not as rollicking as they purported. Hmph. I mean, how many books can really be rollicking? Can't some be frolicsome? Exuberant? Sobering?
We ended up in the Political Science section, and Readers? The most romantic thing ever happened: We spotted the Ann Coulter books. Chills. CLEARLY in the wrong section. So Neil and I deftly moved them, without a trace of evidence. We pilfered all of the Ann Coulter books, one at a time over about 30 minutes to new homes in the Humor, Romance, Fantasy and Psychology/Abuse sections where they made much more sense. We were never detected by the piercing eyes of the older lady. The book liason. The book GUARD. Then we laughed ourselves sick.
Obviously, we are unbelievably funny.
Oh we were wild that night, Reader. We were the Fast and the Furious Nerds at Chapters that night.
We came home and feverishly read our books until we fell asleep; our faces pasted to them with drool- lights still on.
*le sigh*
9 comments:
I really think we can be friends. You. Are. Awesome.
Someday, I will write a book worth publishing, but I will INSIST on writing the blurb on the front.
"This book won't make you want to kill yourself!"
"MY EYES!"
"Leauxra is proof that the zombie uprising will be a good thing."
This is now on my bucket list.
H0w mean, putting Ann's b00ks in the right/wr0ng place(s).
They may just transf0rm and crawl back t0 where they bel0ng.
This sounds like the perfect date! Plus I insist that we double date and do the same thing when I come visit. Perhaps we should put E.L. James in the art section with the colour mixing books or perhaps in the relationship counselling aisle..... Did I tell you that I hate ''fifty shades of grey'? I haven't read it but I've decided to be judge and jury on the matter.... In fact I'm making a giant point of not reading it. That'll show YOU E.L. James!
Leauxra- "MY EYES". Bahaha
DBS- I hope it becomes an international trend.
esbboston- Where do they belong?
Shelley- I was given the 50 shades trilogy by a well meaning friend. I got to about chapter 4 before realizing that I didn't have to hurt myself any longer. I could put the books in my car and drive them back to my friend, check her ears for space slugs and never ever be bothered with it again, provided we were all clear on the space slugs.
What I'm says is that you've made a wise choice. I do not understand why this poorly written (even for smut) trilogy is suddenly being celebrated; Aside from the smut... But cheap, smutty books are not a new development so it must be brain slugs.
Oh I could talk for a long time about this.
I hope you're doing a "book tour".
Lols, the ann coulter bit is priceless. I now have a new game to play at big-box bookstore!
What I'm says is that you've created a sensible option. I do not comprehend why this badly published (even for smut) trilogy is instantly being celebrated; Aside from the smut... But inexpensive, smutty guides are not a new growth so it must be mind slugs.
But affordable, smutty books are not a new development so it must be thoughts slugs.
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